Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Are you a Democrat, Republican or Redneck?

This will help you decide.

Okay, you are walking down a deserted street with your spouse and children.

Suddenly, and Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife come around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.

You are carrying a Glock model 21, 40 S&W, and an expert shot.

You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?



If you do the following, you are a Democrat.

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
What does my spouse think?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the pistol (its called a side arm) have appropriate safety built into it (no, the Glock model 22 is a pull the trigger weapon)?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! i need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.
_____________________________________________________________________________________

If you do the following, you are a Republican.

BANG!!!
_____________________________________________________________________________________

If you do the following, you are a Redneck.

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! (This was the 15 round clip, with one in the chamber)
CLICK! (The sound of an new clip being inserted)
Daughter, "Dad, I thought you were out of the core lock hallow points."
Son, "Dad, good grouping, can I have the next shot?"
Wife, "You ain't taken that to the taxidermist!"

16 comments:

DRL said...

By the way, I am a Repulinican.
I am a good shot. When you are a good shot, one is enough.

rac said...

At the next reunion we should set up a mixed martial arts ring. That way everyone who talks like a bad ass can step up and show us what they've got. My guess is some of these folks might not be talking themselves up so much after a couple rounds in the ring... if they could even make it a couple of rounds. We could even go with an island theme and call it the Rumble in the Jungle.

mat said...

DRL that was great.And rac it has nothing to do with being a badass.Thats a copout on your part. It Was about the differences that conservatives and liberals have with dealing with terrorism. It also was about what happens when the government tries to take your guns away.Sheesh.

juliet said...

Hey if it was Matt or drl I might be tempted for option two. BANG just kidding

Pat said...

I'm democrat/hippi/redneck. Where does that put me?

Doug said...

I never was that great of a marksman especially with a handgun. Hitting and effectively stopping a moving varmint with a "sidearm" is not easy.
This is why God has given us 12 Gauge Shotguns.

mat said...

Doug,you don't have to be a good marksman(although it helps)just draw your weapon to hip level and fire away.You'll hit your attacker in the midsection and God willing he(or she)will die right away painlessly.Otherwise they'll bleed profusely from the abdomen and have a long time to recuperate and think about what they did.Vengeance is mine sayeth the lord.Hehe.

Pat said...

you're scary mat. guns, bullets, blood.?

DRL said...

RAC, don't get me excited. My wife won't let me go if she know there will be mud wrestling.

Hey, how about both your sisters at once. Oh, hey any other girls want to going in???? Juls, Becki, Juliet :) ;) come on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DRL said...

Yes Doug, but a scatter gun is hard to conceal. You have to saw off the barrel and care the butt into a pistol grip. Ooops, gotta go. Shhhhhhhhhh

DRL said...

Mat, remember "God made man, but Samuel Colt made them equal".

DRL said...

Pat, Mat scares me without a gun.

mat said...

Who me? I'm just a big ol teddybear.Ask Cindy.You've been off the blog for a while Pat. It gets rough sometimes. You gotta be able to hang.Hahhaha.

mat said...

And Juliet I love you too.

Pat said...

ignore this,,testing computer

Joanna said...

Was that a pelican? RAC's right ,talk the talk but,walk the walk.Other then that you're just urinating in the wind upwind:)
Mat,you sound like you're going to lose it man.Bonita keep him far away from firearms,please.For the U.S.A.