Job description

Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and sports tournaments in far away cities.
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES :
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.00, must be willing to bite tongues repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the creams for the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, and embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of all half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best be be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT :
None

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :

Get this, you pay them!!!

BENEFITS :
No health or dental, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered
This job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love and free hugs and kisses for life.


THIS IS A THANK YOU FOR ALL OF YOU MOTHERS OUT THERE.