Never slap a man who is chewing tobacco
There are three kinds of men:
1) The ones that learns by reading.
2) The few that learn by observing.
3) The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.
Just some advise. Never, ever take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
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11 comments:
Okay, someone make me laugh. I could use it. can't we all?
Okay,
A husband and wife had a big fight in the car.
Silence followed for what seemed like an eternity.
As they drove past a pig farm, the husband said, "Relatives of yours?"
The wife broke her silence, "Why yes dear, in-laws!"
I know I will never understand women.
I can't understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh area, rip the hair out of the roots, and still be afraid of a spider.
He hee
I remember Johnny Carson saying that you could tell more about a person by what they found humorous than anything else. So with respect to Johnny I give you the top ten list of things you're not likely to hear Doug say unless of course I'm being water boarded, in which case I'll say whatever you'd like.
10). I think I'll run three miles after work today
9). I wonder what Rush would say
8.) Golly what a beautiful sunrise
7). No thanks, I never touch the stuff
6). The federal government really is here to help us
5). I proudly live a vegan lifestyle
4). Football is soooo boring
3). Real men only listen to disco
2). Sex is way over rated
And the # 1 thing you are least likely to hear Doug say...
Bartender I refuse to order another drink until these dancers put their tops back on
LOL!!! Loved it Doug!!!!
Unless she's wearing an orange dress eh?
Not everyone can pull off the color orange but that girl sure could. That was a good night.
"What makes me go, Ha haa haaa haaaaa haaaaaa"?
The piggy flu!
Yes, and I'm sure the family of the two year old that died in Texas earlier this week find it to be a real side splitter as well.
Thank you Doug, I do stand corrected! (Yes, I am manly enough to even admit when I have made a typo or grammar error).
What I meant to say, “What makes me go, Ha haa haaa haaaaa haaaaaa"?
The piggy flu media hype!
Doug, I meant this as a break from the mean spirited forums.
Ric did not say "swine flu" but "piggy flu", an obvious attempt of humor in a sad situation.
He is so correct. Remember the "great bird flu scare". It was nothing but a huge media scare. As I said earlier, with no response from you, Cindy or Joanna, more children die from mosquitoes in a day than will die from this flu.
Oh, more families are broke apart by men that go to strip bars than children will die from this.
Lets keep this funny, as I did find your really funny on the water boarding sayings. I found it humorous. Thank you. Please allow others to say something funny, even if for there own reasons.
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